If Lincoln Had Used a Computer.
如果林肯使用過計(jì)算機(jī)……
1. The ad for a software program caught my eye. It said, "Write better in 30 days or your money back."
1、有一則計(jì)算機(jī)軟件的廣告引起了我的注意。它說：“要是30天之內(nèi)不能提高你的寫作能力，就將原款退還�！�
2. I'm familiar with computer programs that correct spelling through the use of built-in dictionaries. But the ad for this program said that it would correct "stylistic errors".
2、我熟悉那些通過使用內(nèi)建字典來糾正拼寫錯(cuò)誤的計(jì)算機(jī)程序。但是，這則軟件廣告卻說，它能糾正“文體錯(cuò)誤”。
3. Style. That's a big part of what writing is about. So I stopped by the computer store to give it a test run. I wanted to see what the program would say about one of my favorite pieces of writing.
3、文體對于寫作關(guān)系可是很重大的。因此，我在那家計(jì)算機(jī)商店停下來，準(zhǔn)備試一試這個(gè)程序。我想看一看它會對我所喜愛的一篇文章說些什么。
4. I typed it into the computer. Then the computer printed out a critique. Here it is:
4、我把文章輸進(jìn)了計(jì)算機(jī)。接著，計(jì)算機(jī)屏幕上顯示出了一段評語。下文便是：
5. Four score and seven years ago our fathers brought forth on this continent a new nation, conceived in Liberty, and dedicated to the proposition that all men are created equal. [Long sentences can be difficult to read and understand. Consider revising so that no more than one complete thought is expressed in each sentence. Passive voice: "are created." Consider using active. Usually a paragraph should have more than one sentence.]
5、87年前，我們的先輩在這個(gè)大陸上締造了一個(gè)新國家。她以自由為立國之本，堅(jiān)決奉行所有的人生來平等的原則。
6. Now we are engaged [Passive voice: "are engaged." Consider using active. See "Help" key for more information.] in a great civil war, testing whether that nation, or any nation so conceived and so dedicated, can long endure. We are met [Passive voice: "are met." Consider using active.] on a great battle field of that war. We have come to dedicated a portion of that field, as a final resting place for those who here gave their lives that that [Delete doubled word.] nation might live. It is altogether fitting and proper that we should do this.
6、目前我們正在進(jìn)行一場偉大的內(nèi)戰(zhàn)，這場戰(zhàn)爭正考驗(yàn)我國，或者任何在自由中誕生并奉行上述原則的國家能否永存。我們在這場偉大戰(zhàn)爭的戰(zhàn)場上聚會。把這戰(zhàn)場之一角奉獻(xiàn)給那些為國家生存而捐軀的人們，作為他們的最后安息之地。我們完全應(yīng)該這樣做。
7. But, [Use "But" sparingly to start a sentence.] in a larger sense, we cannot dedicate, we cannot consecrate, we cannot hallow this ground. The brave men, living and dead, who struggled here, have consecrated it, far above our poor power to add or detract. The world will little note nor long remember [An adjective "long" is usually not followed by a verb "remember." You may need to use an adverbial form of "long" or a comma before "remember. "] what we say here, but it can never forget what they did here. It is for us, the living, rather [This word usually adds little and should be omitted.] to be dedicated here to the unfinished work which ["That" is almost always preferred in this situation. If you really mean "which," then it usually needs to be preceded by a comma, See "Help" key for more information.] they who fought here have thus far so nobly advanced. It is rather [This word usually adds little and should be omitted.] for us to be here dedicated to the great task remaining before us: that from these honored dead we take increased devotion to that cause for which they gave the last full measure of devotion; that we here highly revolve that these dead [Usually "these" should be followed by a plural noun.] shall not have died in vain; that this nation, under God, shall have a new birth of freedom; and that government of the people, by the people, for the people, shall not perish from the earth.
7、但是從更廣泛的意義上來說，我們無權(quán)把這塊土地奉獻(xiàn)給他們，也無力神圣化這片土地。那些活著的和死去的，曾在這里戰(zhàn)斗過的英雄，才使這片土地成為神圣之地，而非我們的微薄之力所能增減。世人不會注意也不會長久記得我們今天在這里說了些什么，但是勇士們在這里做過的事將永遠(yuǎn)不會被忘記。倒是我們這些活著的人，應(yīng)該繼續(xù)英雄們?yōu)橹畱?zhàn)斗并使之前進(jìn)的未竟事業(yè)。我們應(yīng)該要更加忠誠于先烈為之犧牲的事業(yè)，為擺在我們面前的偉大任務(wù)繼續(xù)獻(xiàn)身；我們在這里下定決心不能讓他們的鮮血白流；這個(gè)國家，在上帝的保佑下將獲得自由的新生。這個(gè)民有、民治、民享的政府將與世長存。
8. That's something. As often as I've read this speech, getting a lump in my throat every time. I've never detected one stylistic problem, much less 13. Shows how little I know.
8、真是奇跡!每當(dāng)我閱讀這篇演講詞的時(shí)候，總感覺心情激動，如鯁在喉。我卻從未發(fā)現(xiàn)過它有一處文體錯(cuò)誤，更不用說它有13處錯(cuò)誤了。這表明我的知識何等貧乏啊!
9. But I suppose we really shouldn't expect anything better from someone who grew up in a log cabin, hoofed to a oneroom Schoolhouse and never made it to college.
9、但是，我們不應(yīng)該苛求一個(gè)在小木屋里長大，徒步到那所只有一間屋子的學(xué)校上學(xué)，后來也沒有上成大學(xué)的人，他也不可能把話講得再好了。
10. We might remember, though, that Abe Lincoln was at a stylistic disadvantage when he wrote his Gettysburg Address. The poor guy didn't have a "Help" key to push.
10、然而，我們也許應(yīng)當(dāng)記住：亞伯·林肯寫葛底斯堡演講稿時(shí)，他實(shí)在沒有很好的條件來講求文體修辭�？蓱z的家伙那時(shí)并沒有計(jì)算機(jī)上的“求助”鍵可使用。（本篇原文中括號內(nèi)的斜體字因文字淺顯，故不加譯文�！幷撸�
